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Say No To Dowry
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E-mailMade Popular Apr 17 2009
India :
Though Indians miss no opportunity to boast of their richness, the provincialism and chauvinistic mannerism manage to dictate their perceptions at critical junctures. The future of modern living would certainly get dominated by saga of depression and pains if we don’t come to annihilate futile man- made complexities.
However, the marriages in India turn out to be testing times for bride’s parents even as they leave no stone unturned to dissipate the whims and fancies of bridegroom’s family. To an extent, the bride’s parents never hesitate to resort to unfair means to serve the demands of boy’s family.
No doubt, as per of provisions of law to enter into dowry related deals is a crime, the compulsions of pragmatic approach turn them redundant. This whole tamasha (drama) takes place with least resistance from either sides as it’s a ‘prestige issue’ for both of them. One cannot expect miraculous changes in future unless the newer generation gets determined to checkmate such unholy practices.
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There are four or five functions that complete a marriage ceremony. And all five functions are being held with equal fervor and vulgar lavishness. And latest being presentations being given by relatives with the help of a professional coreographer.
Law or no law, it is two persons who can stop this menace. One is the groom. If he decides NO DOWRY, means NO DOWRY. And second is the bride. But a bride can only do it if she is educated and capable of earning a good livelihood. I have seen a bride ordering her father to get the food plates picked up from the barati’s tables as they were insisting on a huge dowry. And she married a person who had been proposing to her although he was not at par with the girl’s family financially. Living happily ever since. It is an educated girl who can put an end to the malaise.
In this connection read my article A Himachali Wedding. That portion of our country is definitely better in this respect.
Law or no law, it is two persons who can stop this menace. One is the groom. If he decides NO DOWRY, means NO DOWRY. And second is the bride. But a bride can only do it if she is educated and capable of earning a good livelihood. I have seen a bride ordering her father to get the food plates picked up from the barati’s tables as they were insisting on a huge dowry. And she married a person who had been proposing to her although he was not at par with the girl’s family financially. Living happily ever since. It is an educated girl who can put an end to the malaise.
In this connection read my article A Himachali Wedding. That portion of our country is definitely better in this respect.
(Local Perspectives)
@Viany
Thanks Vinay for stepping in with a perfect response.Yes,if the groom and bride decide to have an upper hand I don’t think parents or other relatives ever dare to talk about dowry.In recent times,there are some encouraging examples,wherein groom/bride have refuse to entertain the wishes of parents interested in dowry.
Sadly,these incidents are yet to create a desired impact.Most of us are still trapped in wrong patterns.Surprisingly, even educated guys/gals are not interested in setting better examples.Ironically,a higher degree is bound to attract huge amount!!
Thanks Vinay for stepping in with a perfect response.Yes,if the groom and bride decide to have an upper hand I don’t think parents or other relatives ever dare to talk about dowry.In recent times,there are some encouraging examples,wherein groom/bride have refuse to entertain the wishes of parents interested in dowry.
Sadly,these incidents are yet to create a desired impact.Most of us are still trapped in wrong patterns.Surprisingly, even educated guys/gals are not interested in setting better examples.Ironically,a higher degree is bound to attract huge amount!!
(Local Perspectives)
Arvind
For the superiority of the genes and the using of emotion as the manipulator over a sex drive so powerful that we are the top of the animal world –will never allow logic to see what would be needed to change things like dowry or anything else a competing human can think of
The top human wants their gens to be on top and couldn’t care a fiddlers frig about the ones on the bottom
I know i sound like a broken record but not as bad as people putting volumes of reasons why we should be or could be more humane or sensitive to others
Nature uses simple logic but humans thought emotion are the easiest fools to fool–dizzy humans striving to get their gens to the top– running over anything in the way
Sorry for rant Arvind but at least if you don’t agree your not afraid to respond –take care Wayne
For the superiority of the genes and the using of emotion as the manipulator over a sex drive so powerful that we are the top of the animal world –will never allow logic to see what would be needed to change things like dowry or anything else a competing human can think of
The top human wants their gens to be on top and couldn’t care a fiddlers frig about the ones on the bottom
I know i sound like a broken record but not as bad as people putting volumes of reasons why we should be or could be more humane or sensitive to others
Nature uses simple logic but humans thought emotion are the easiest fools to fool–dizzy humans striving to get their gens to the top– running over anything in the way
Sorry for rant Arvind but at least if you don’t agree your not afraid to respond –take care Wayne
(Global Perspectives)
@Wayne
There are no takers of simple logic in our times.Twisted logic has become order of the day.
There are no takers of simple logic in our times.Twisted logic has become order of the day.
(Local Perspectives)
Vinay
In the Indian society it’s the wish of every parent to give all kind of items which can be useful for girls in living a good life after marriage. Their intention behind the dowry is not bad. By doing so, they show their emotional attachment with girls.
In the Indian society it’s the wish of every parent to give all kind of items which can be useful for girls in living a good life after marriage. Their intention behind the dowry is not bad. By doing so, they show their emotional attachment with girls.
(Local Perspectives)
Why only girls Elias? Why can't guy's parents also contribute for their new life. Afterall their son is also starting a new life...
(Local Perspectives)
@Elias
Yes, we need to understand that term ”Stree Dhan” was intended at providing stable and dignified life to the daughters.However,dowry in present age has turned into a bane.
Yes, we need to understand that term ”Stree Dhan” was intended at providing stable and dignified life to the daughters.However,dowry in present age has turned into a bane.
(Local Perspectives)
A new generation, new era of women should start every rules, that no human specie or any gender for that matter should think of giving birth to the evil called ”Dowry” in thier life.
Kudos Arvind.
Kudos Arvind.
(Local Perspectives)
Anusha
Problem lies in the fact the new generation is engaged in dowry system. Why they should wait for those material gains for so many years which they can get easily as dowry.
Problem lies in the fact the new generation is engaged in dowry system. Why they should wait for those material gains for so many years which they can get easily as dowry.
(Local Perspectives)
@Anusha
As stated earlier the motive behind giving gifts to daughter at time of marriage was to provide a certain degree of stability and dignity in her life.It’s our fault that that we have distorted the perception and vision of our forefathers.
As stated earlier the motive behind giving gifts to daughter at time of marriage was to provide a certain degree of stability and dignity in her life.It’s our fault that that we have distorted the perception and vision of our forefathers.
(Local Perspectives)
Add your Comment
If you are observing the trends then people are indulging themselves more and more in dowry system. It has become a status symbol to give as costly as possible items as dowry. The urban middle class is responsible for this trend. The lower middle class is paying the price of this trend.
Yes, all the classes love to venture into such tomfoolery.The trends in upper class tend to act as advance mirror image for these classes.I don’t know what prevent us from getting above this mindless aping.Probably,we are more interested in honouring our fragile egos instead of setting better precedents.